this entry is for cher. 

yes, i'm not going to blog here anymore.  i guess i should have finalized it three months ago.  i needed a new home on the web, because life isn't the same anymore.  this blog has been my post for the three years i was in pohnpei.  it has been a witness to my life being transformed, to me being transformed.  i am now more open, tougher (i believe), and of course, older both in age and in experience.  this blog has been a reflection of how things were.

i got to know a number of people through this blog.  i gained new friends.  for that, i'm glad.

i'm still blogging somewhere else.  i've been blogging since i came back.  but it's more personal, much more intended for people who know me.  so add me, i'm at multiply.com .

Starting something is always hard, be it a business, an article, or a career.  I usually spend 50% of my time and effort with the first words of an article.  I always dread the first day in a new job.  But when it comes to relationships, ending it is the most difficult part beside there are the words sad and painful that come with goodbye.

I'll be leaving Micronesia in two weeks.  I'm quitting my job, I'm moving back to the Philippines.  It's hard to say goodbye to a life I've learned to love.  But there are things you have to do no matter how hard, not because you don't have a choice but because life asks you to.

I am going to miss a lot of things.  I will miss living on my own - no curfews, no parents/roommates to worry about.  I will miss my apartment because I may never stay in a place with the ocean's view again. 

I will miss driving my own car because I may never afford to buy a car again.  I will miss waking up at 9 or 9:30 in the morning on on work days, because I may never find a job that will give me that luxury again.  I will miss the laid-back lifestyle - no work related stress, no traffic, no long lines at the supermarket, no worries about snatchers and staying out late at night.

I will miss my students.  I gave out my last test awhile ago and one of the students wrote this on his paper.  I almost cried.  They never fail to appreciate me. 

I will surely miss my friends.  I may never see them again but I will try my best to find a way.  I will never forget this place, that I am sure of.

I am also closing this blog as I leave.  But I think that deserves another entry.

 

it's been raining for three days now.  it seems that the heavens are crying with me. 

i've been trying to lift up my spirits.  i just finished Paula by Isabel Allende (which happens to belong to eunice, binasa ko muna before ko ibibigay sa kanya).  talk about lifting one's spirits when the book is about Isabel's daughter who went into a coma.  but sometimes it makes us feel better when we realize that our problems are nothing compared to other people's.  one thing i remember from the book:  "the deeper the wound, the more private the grief."  i couldn't agree more.

i got nothing more to read.  how i wish there's a book store within my reach.  it seems that i need books to keep me sane.  i'm willing to travel for hours, just to get hold of some good books.  but the closest place is Guam, and that's $500 away.  Guam doesn't have much of a book collection in the first place.  so i'll have to wait.  i'm going home anyway.  i just added some titles to my wish list.

Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg

Sula by Toni Morrison

The Known World by Edward P. Jones

any more suggestions?

this entry is 10 days late, but i just have to say thank you to nyss for this entry.  i wish i can tell you how much it meant to me.

to ligs, lau and arjay for remembering and for going out of the house even if it was already late just to send me this.

a lot of greetings, feeling ko naman special ako. 

the day was spent at work and with the closest friends here.  no fuss, no party, but with a pile of gifts.  i received too many wonderful gifts, it felt like Christmas in April. 

(I just have to post lots of pictures to say what I want to say.)

Emski, you just made my day.

with your snail mail that was waiting for me on my table...

i can't even remember the last time i received a hand written letter!!!  I love, love letters.  i know you do too, pati si nyss.

i love it that it's the flower that i noticed first and you really had to say, "sana maayos pa yung flower pagdating sa yo".  yes ems, it's still intact.  ang ganda!!!

the pictures from january 2005!  (grabe, antagal na nun)  our ever reliable meeting place -NLB Foodmart sa Parking B ng NAIA...

and the rerun last january...

and the best part?  you're happily married na!  am happy for you emski!

thank you, thank you!

mwah!

sunday morning's weather was great, and so it calls for another adventure.  the challenge:  hiking Sokehs Rock.  it's the top left picture (see below), and we made it to the top (the biggest chunk of rock)! 

i've done it with another group (see previous blog entry), but i had to drag my friends so i can share this extraordinary experience with them.  it's considered "moderately strenuous" by mountaineers.  but for ordinary hikers (we're not even REAL hikers, hehe) like us, it meant a very hard trek.  it's 498 feet high!  the hike is not too long (about an hour and a half each way), but you suddenly find yourself climbing a very steep stairway, then just having some trees to hold on to while you're moving sideways to get to the other side.  and of course, the last part of the deal:  you have to pull yourself up the big rock at an angle of about 80 degrees while holding on to the steel pole, with the sight of the vast ocean on both sides, the sky on top and unforgiving basaltic rocks if you look down.  add pretty strong winds to the thrill.  the website says, "People with acute acrophobia might not want to try this one, however."  definitely. 

i'm so glad i did it one more time, coz the first time was very very hard for me (i later found out i was sick).  the second time was definitely a breeze.

of course, the view on top is an amazing sight.  i couldn't help but give credit to the great Architect who perfectly built all that my eyes could see. 

yes, we're all sore from the hike, but i'm sure this won't be our last stop.