i have always dreamed of my wedding.  i've been facinated with weddings since i was small.  maybe because i've seen my cousins and aunts get married, in our small church, happy and in love.  so i dreamed of the day i'll walk down the aisle, with my parents.  i dreamed of the person i love waiting for me at the end of the march.  i've been sure i wanted a romantic ceremony and a party full of fun afterwards.  there should be good music, flowers and a lot of smiles.  i want it to be beautiful.  this is really important to me.  it's a once in a lifetime event and i want to make sure i treasure it. 

so where's the but?  it's on the expenses.  i was talking to my bestfriend about weddings, and she reminded me it's really expensive to have a wedding.  which is so true.  venue, catering, and all the tiny details require money.  in the Philippines, a good video/photography package is about $1000.  why spend your money on a wedding when you can start a small business with that amount?  why spend that much for just one day of your wedding when you have a lifetime of marriage ahead of you?  the wedding ceremony is not an assurance that your life together will be happy.  why invest too much on it?

i want to keep my surname even if i get married.  why do i need to change it?  i was born with that name and i don't think marriage should make me change it.  i don't think it's an indication of my love or respect for my (future) husband.  another reason is that i have my father's surname, and i am an only daughter.  that means nobody else will keep his surname.  and he's an only son, so there's no Sandoval in his family anymore.  i really want to keep it.  and i have found a partner who's encouraging me to.  :)

but i'm not saying that carrying the husband's last name is not a good idea.  i just belive that marriage is not measured by carrying a common last name alone.  it doesn't make you less of a wife if you don't carry your husband's last name.

the only thought that's stopping me from making my mind on this is that if i'll have children, i want them to carry my husband's last name.  or is it even a choice?  i think it's automatic (common law).  then, my children and my husband will have that last name, then mine will be different.   hmmm... i'm not sure about taht.  i would like to have the same last name as my family. 

so then, i'm having second thoughts.

in the past 20+ years, i've lived in 3 places and visited a couple of Philippine provinces and a handful of countries.  they say Filipinos are everywhere, all countries around the world, from A to Z.  more and more friends and relatives are moving overseas. 

i was reading pau's blog and read about my former officemate's dad being shot and is now dead.  he wasn't just an officemate.  for my last Product assignment, he was my groupmate, a Senior Engineer, fresh from training abroad.  he's really down-to-earth and kind.  it's really sad to hear the news about his father.  i even remember we attended a wedding, and he told me before he joined Intel, he worked in Saudi.  he's been helping his family financially, so had to postpone starting his own family (but now he's married).  he must be devastated. 

i can only pray for Ronald and his family. 

i've been receiving invitations to join Multiply, another networking site.  but aside from just having contacts (friends),  you can also share photos, journal, reviews, recipes, calendar, and market listings.  so it's Friendster/Orkut on one side and blogging on the other side.  but since i'm blogging here and i'm fine with Friendster, i decided to just post pictures. 

so check it out:   http://rsandoval.multiply.com/photos if you got nothing to do.  you can even sign up if you're interested.

one of my first entries here is about how small the world is on the web.  in fact, it was my second post.  it was about finding pictures of a person i know at Community Webshots Wedding Photos.  with over 2 million photos (2000+ albums), i found Pazette.  she is my former roommate's sister.  but the bigger surprise came when she posted a comment to my entry!  yup, she found this blog one day through searching her name at Google.  find out about it over her blog.  katuwa.